After reading the book, I’m delighted that it delivered what it promises to deliver. The author has a straightforward approach in conveying her message of being assertive and authentic. And what I love the most are the reflection questions that follow every chapter; the author and psychologist Sharon Galor listed down helpful guide questions to reflect on and directly apply the different techniques mentioned in the book.
There are many key take-aways that I’m sure readers can learn and re-learn from reading Dr. Galor’s book. My top 5 would be the following:
1. Self-disclosure is an assertive skill that improves your socialization abilities. You can relate more with others by revealing something personal about yourself, your personality, lifestyle, embarrassing moments, etc. By being honest and open, the other person will feel more comfortable doing the same and the interaction become less focused on social facades and superficial topics. (page 42)
2. Negative inquiry is an assertive technique that can be used with people who are in a close relationship with you. You might bring out criticism or negative emotions to the surface when inquiring, but these will help improve relationships and make things better. (page 51)
3. If you feel that your anger is escalating fast during your interaction with others and that things are about to get out of control, then you need to have a time out. It’s better and less embarrassing to walk away than to do impenetrable damage. Having a time out gives you the opportunity to think extensively about your options, alternative solution and what you should do and say assertively after your return. (page 65)
4. In terms of giving and receiving compliments, assertive reactions means taking it in the spirit in which it was given positively. Embracing positive comments and accepting compliments with poise and openness increases confidence, self-efficacy and receptiveness on both part of the giver and receiver. (page 100)
5. And of course the next steps! It’s time to put it all together, challenge yourself, experiment in different situations by using all the new assertive skills mentioned in the book, evaluate results and the impact it has on your life. (page 165)
This is the kind of book that one can read and reread multiple times and still can get new insights every time. The only thing that I wish would have been different is the format of rating one’s assertiveness; it would be great to have it on a tabulated form in a way that I can easily compare my ratings before and after and moving forward.
It’s a good read! And I’d recommend this to everyone, regardless of age, gender or educational and social background, but even having said that, I’d say that this is a must-read book for all women out there, whether or not you think of yourselves as one who is already assertive.
The author, Dr. Sharon Galor, has a PhD in clinical psychology and MA in clinical and health psychology. I know her personally because we also meet on a regular basis with 6 other entrepreneurs for our mastermind group meetings. So I could attest that indeed she’s a passionate professional who walks her talk.
“Be Assertive! Be Authentic!’ is available on Amazon.